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WHY YOU SHOULD HIRE ME:

1. i am good at reading and thinking and stuff
2. if i am not bored i work very hard
3. i make a conscious effort to shower at least every other day and hardly ever have B.O anymore
4. i am a quick learner and good with computer systems
5. i can be good at customer service if i know what i'm doing/ aren't upset
6. i can do monotonous tasks for hours and hardly notice
7. i can make paper fortune tellers
8. i always remember to say 'happy birthday!' and smile when it's someone's birthday
9. i have a really good memory e.g. mention something that happens in buffy and i will tell you what series and even what episode if i am not hungover
10. i watch so much CSI that i'm fairly sure i could competently solve a murder
11. i can buy a bus or metro pass to get to a job if i have to
12. i sound posh and thus will not scare posh people
13. i have job experience and have been proven to be good at remembering the prices of games, accessories, hardware etc.
14. i once did a really hard a level maths question in year 11 and the teacher was impressed because usually i was really bad at maths but not that day
15. i have my own phone, teeth, passport and laptop so i am evidently proficient at life
16. i do not mind scutwork and i will get coffees or sweep hair or put make-up on dead bodies or whatever you need me to do
17. i know how to make friends with cats really well dogs don't like me though
18. i am really good at cleaning and am probably borderline obsessive compulsive sometimes but you can use this to your advantage
19. i am not afraid of vomit, spit, pee, spiders etc.



please hire me