i completely meant to have a 3. at the end of that last blog, but i was typing it for aaages and ages and then the tab decided to refresh itself all like WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED TO PUBLISH THAT IT WAS SHIT ANYWAYS JEEEESH
and i got angry and posted it as it was in a rage blur, not realising that it made me look like i have no conviction to finish things and am also stupid.
so.
3. i am scared to move. the night before last, i sat up until 5:30 a.m. researching the libyan conflict and the history of libya under colonel gaddafi (qaddafi? why does everyone spell it differently?) and holy hell. even though the perpetual threat of him just deciding the bomb everything to dust has been present for years and years, the fact that i myself have only just become aware of said fact has made it infinitely more likely to happen. i wish it wasn't that way, but it is.
i am pretty damn sure g/qaddafi is evil incarnate though. linked to many bombing, publicly announcing he'll fund freedom fighting and suicide bombing, broadcasting executions of rebels, hanging out with some of his fellow contemporary evil dictators (milosevic and that red faction president) and travelling with a ukrainian sex nurse are just a few of his attractive hobbies. i wish wikipedia had a built in safe mode wherein if i try to search something like 'libya' or 'g/qaddafi' it automatically links me to 'fraggles' or 'kittens' instead. but no. so i sat up in a complete panic until six in the morning, unable to concentrate on anything else, and have since been in a state of hyperawareness. i'm usually completely politically unaware, and now i know why: THE WORLD IS TERRIFYING. have you seen the shit that is happening? tsunamis? earthquakes? nuclear fallout? bombing? it's fucking awful! how i will ever pluck up the courage to live vicariously again?
and i'd like to thank the british army for dragging us all into this mess. now we are in the running to be libya's next top bomb target. thanks a lot guys, next time do a phone in vote about whether to get involved in an overseas war effort so i can vote against it and be a massive coward. seriously, if i was the british army and i saw libya throwing bombs at itself? i'd turn the other way and whistle.
4. making a g/qaddafi sim on the sims 3 and killing it might make me feel better.
5. something else, i don't even know i'm too busy trying to be really quiet so i don't die in a war or something
Wednesday 30 March 2011
Monday 28 March 2011
1. i want the sims 3. it's literally the stupidest game ever but i desire it. why? i do not know. perhaps all the advertising has finally permeated my brain and i will drink nothing but pepsi and play nothing but the sims 3 for the rest of my little life, who knows. all i know is that the urge to create another death house to lure in neighbours and trap them in rooms full of fireplaces is overwhelming.
(for reference: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/sims-3-life.php)
2. i just filled in my first ever uk census form. how grand. i couldn't figure out how to work the relationship chart thing and i didn't want to call my boyfriend my brother or mum or something so i left that part well alone. i was also scared of the portion asking me about my qualifications, so i have either said i have three PHDs or maybe no GCSEs. boyfriend specified his religion as jedi and filled in the tick boxes incredibly sloppily, i assume to 'stick it to the man' in the most perfunctory way possible.
3.
(for reference: http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/sims-3-life.php)
2. i just filled in my first ever uk census form. how grand. i couldn't figure out how to work the relationship chart thing and i didn't want to call my boyfriend my brother or mum or something so i left that part well alone. i was also scared of the portion asking me about my qualifications, so i have either said i have three PHDs or maybe no GCSEs. boyfriend specified his religion as jedi and filled in the tick boxes incredibly sloppily, i assume to 'stick it to the man' in the most perfunctory way possible.
3.
Monday 21 March 2011
which seat can i take?
hi. i have eyes, hands, and the ability to read. i can use a computer, and pay to have the internet on said computer. i have some awareness of the internet. therefore i have heard 'friday' by rebecca black.
I KNOW. I WENT THERE. fuck you vanessa hudgens, release as many nudie shots as you want and i will simply refer you to dane cook:
anywayz.
* if you haven't seen it, take a moment to acquaint yourself. learn the lyrics. think about what day it is*
the internet is foaming and churning with rage like a grecian sea in the wake of 'friday'. why? people find it irritating. it is poorly written. it marks the death of good music. it is stupid. etc etc etc. memes and parodies are popping up faster than sores on a druggie's face, and they show no signs of stopping. it's all in good fun, obviously.
NOT.
when did the internet get so mean? i mean, i know, i've read encylopedia dramatica, i've seen anonymous's opinion on everything from gays to jews. it's not pretty. but rebecca black and her plight have struck the previously believed to be dead sympathetic bit of my brain. she's a 13 year old kid and she just wanted to make a cool music video. but people are being horrible about her, like it's her that's made the video. why not blame her recording company for writing the song for her? or her agent for securing the deal? she's only little. it's not her fault. don't just pin all your hatred for anything sweet and stupid on her and turn her into a vehicle of bile. i will refer to the boxy case:
boxy recorded a spoof video of herself being pretty much an emo kid who talked too fast. anonymous reared its ugly head in anger and flamed her to hell, but that is because anonymous is a misogynistic and pseudo-machismo and feels the need to annihilate and abuse any form of female/ child. it's creepy, seriously. but there was a boxy revolution. she made people think that maybe it's ok to be cute, it's ok to be slightly irritating. it's not a personal offense that she is doing it for. she's not being funny to deliberately irritate you. and to refer back to rebecca black:
it's the same thing. she's young, dumb and full of ... smiles! (what did you think i was going to say, jeez?) calm the fuck down. stop making memes like she needs to be murdered for crimes against humanity. she's just some weird looking kid with kind of overly thick hair and a kind of awkward disposition. i feel sorry for her, honestly, imagine being 13 and getting to do your own song, and video, and being super-psyched about it, then getting torn to shreds and insulted for something you were proud of. it's just mean. i'm mean, i'll admit, but about people who are full of themselves. people who believe themselves to be the shit. rebecca black is younger even than my little brother, or cousins. bless her stupid little heart, it's just not fair. she's just having a nice time, so please just have a nice time with her and don't suggest that she cut her wrists on youtube.
the lyrics. ok, the lyrics ... are bad. like terrible. but most lyrics are! most lyrics don't make sense. vague pretty sounding sentiments are not real sentiments. isn't a kind of funny bad song enough to just make you laugh and think nothing more about it, rather than take to 4chan and conspire to bring the culprit to their knees? what does it even say about our culture that we'll damn and blast anyone who tries to do something just because it's not for us? we'll destroy anything cute and dedicate our actual time and effort to upsetting a 13 year old kid. i didn't see anything mean about casey heynes, and he bodyslammed a kid and broke his leg cos he wanted to. (i know, bullying and whatever, but honestly i tried to watch the video interview with him and his accent just grated on my brain) rebecca black is just another vehicle for a record label that wants to capitalize on justin bieber's success. so if you've got a problem with rebecca black.. take it to the people whose fault it is. how can you be so fucking stupid to not realise that making fun of her video means you're watching it; making fun of her song means you're listening to it. it doesn't make it any different that you're being 'ironic' or 'sarcastic', because that doesn't show up in the demographics. if you want to change music and what's being released, take it to the people who make the decisions. not the kids who just wanted to be cool. anonymous, stop taking yourself so god damn seriously because it's lame. have fun fun fun fun!
(lookin' forward to the weekend.)
I KNOW. I WENT THERE. fuck you vanessa hudgens, release as many nudie shots as you want and i will simply refer you to dane cook:
anywayz.
* if you haven't seen it, take a moment to acquaint yourself. learn the lyrics. think about what day it is*
the internet is foaming and churning with rage like a grecian sea in the wake of 'friday'. why? people find it irritating. it is poorly written. it marks the death of good music. it is stupid. etc etc etc. memes and parodies are popping up faster than sores on a druggie's face, and they show no signs of stopping. it's all in good fun, obviously.
NOT.
when did the internet get so mean? i mean, i know, i've read encylopedia dramatica, i've seen anonymous's opinion on everything from gays to jews. it's not pretty. but rebecca black and her plight have struck the previously believed to be dead sympathetic bit of my brain. she's a 13 year old kid and she just wanted to make a cool music video. but people are being horrible about her, like it's her that's made the video. why not blame her recording company for writing the song for her? or her agent for securing the deal? she's only little. it's not her fault. don't just pin all your hatred for anything sweet and stupid on her and turn her into a vehicle of bile. i will refer to the boxy case:
boxy recorded a spoof video of herself being pretty much an emo kid who talked too fast. anonymous reared its ugly head in anger and flamed her to hell, but that is because anonymous is a misogynistic and pseudo-machismo and feels the need to annihilate and abuse any form of female/ child. it's creepy, seriously. but there was a boxy revolution. she made people think that maybe it's ok to be cute, it's ok to be slightly irritating. it's not a personal offense that she is doing it for. she's not being funny to deliberately irritate you. and to refer back to rebecca black:
it's the same thing. she's young, dumb and full of ... smiles! (what did you think i was going to say, jeez?) calm the fuck down. stop making memes like she needs to be murdered for crimes against humanity. she's just some weird looking kid with kind of overly thick hair and a kind of awkward disposition. i feel sorry for her, honestly, imagine being 13 and getting to do your own song, and video, and being super-psyched about it, then getting torn to shreds and insulted for something you were proud of. it's just mean. i'm mean, i'll admit, but about people who are full of themselves. people who believe themselves to be the shit. rebecca black is younger even than my little brother, or cousins. bless her stupid little heart, it's just not fair. she's just having a nice time, so please just have a nice time with her and don't suggest that she cut her wrists on youtube.
the lyrics. ok, the lyrics ... are bad. like terrible. but most lyrics are! most lyrics don't make sense. vague pretty sounding sentiments are not real sentiments. isn't a kind of funny bad song enough to just make you laugh and think nothing more about it, rather than take to 4chan and conspire to bring the culprit to their knees? what does it even say about our culture that we'll damn and blast anyone who tries to do something just because it's not for us? we'll destroy anything cute and dedicate our actual time and effort to upsetting a 13 year old kid. i didn't see anything mean about casey heynes, and he bodyslammed a kid and broke his leg cos he wanted to. (i know, bullying and whatever, but honestly i tried to watch the video interview with him and his accent just grated on my brain) rebecca black is just another vehicle for a record label that wants to capitalize on justin bieber's success. so if you've got a problem with rebecca black.. take it to the people whose fault it is. how can you be so fucking stupid to not realise that making fun of her video means you're watching it; making fun of her song means you're listening to it. it doesn't make it any different that you're being 'ironic' or 'sarcastic', because that doesn't show up in the demographics. if you want to change music and what's being released, take it to the people who make the decisions. not the kids who just wanted to be cool. anonymous, stop taking yourself so god damn seriously because it's lame. have fun fun fun fun!
(lookin' forward to the weekend.)
Tuesday 8 March 2011
somethin' gruesome, somethin' awful
i'm in the middle of my third assigned essay for university. and obviously, i am taking a break, to conserve my mental energy. and having a biscuit, to conserve my happiness.
essays are so redundant. you can find essays about essays on reviews of essays on books. i therefore submit that my shitty juvenile four page excuse for an essay is a dead end. nobody is going to write an essay about this essay. if nobody is going to read my essay, let alone write about it, what is the point of me doing it? everything is futile. not to mention my essay is a clusterfuck of completely opposing ideas and random theories. it's the verbal and visual equivalent of a huge bunch of jangling keys.
my little brain is not equipped to deal with this kind of thing. i'm a creative writer, my thought process is insane and delicate and not to be senselessly exposed to so many external ideas at once. i feel like my head will get full up and i'll start vomiting words. my mind is going to crumple under the sheer weight of the task it has been dealt. it's not even that i can't do it, because i was doing it dandily until i realised that it was a futile pointless endeavour. i get distracted almost ridiculously easily, from anything, even fun things, so this essay was always doomed.
more importantly, i did something creative for once. you know, like i always threaten to but never actually do? well i actually did. take THAT, poetry lecturer who doesn't believe in me.
Sunday
I woke up heavy as a stone; as grey as iron
Hours loomed ahead smelling like coffee and wet floor,
Looking gossamer fine with their lack of consequence,
Still, a purring black happiness sat on my chest,
Green-eyed and soft,
Completely unattached to me, and unable to spread.
Spirals of some dull feeling tessellated behind my eyes,
I couldn't wipe them away like sleep or tea stains.
Yesterday sat pungently in front of me,
Stinking and decaying like any wasted day does,
The dead potential hissing as it cooled and sending up olive fumes.
I could have gone to the sea,
Gone to the fields or the hills,
I could have done anything, or maybe something.
Now my head feels like an empty teacup,
And the cat's pissed on the stairs again,
And home is so very, velvety quiet.
essays are so redundant. you can find essays about essays on reviews of essays on books. i therefore submit that my shitty juvenile four page excuse for an essay is a dead end. nobody is going to write an essay about this essay. if nobody is going to read my essay, let alone write about it, what is the point of me doing it? everything is futile. not to mention my essay is a clusterfuck of completely opposing ideas and random theories. it's the verbal and visual equivalent of a huge bunch of jangling keys.
my little brain is not equipped to deal with this kind of thing. i'm a creative writer, my thought process is insane and delicate and not to be senselessly exposed to so many external ideas at once. i feel like my head will get full up and i'll start vomiting words. my mind is going to crumple under the sheer weight of the task it has been dealt. it's not even that i can't do it, because i was doing it dandily until i realised that it was a futile pointless endeavour. i get distracted almost ridiculously easily, from anything, even fun things, so this essay was always doomed.
more importantly, i did something creative for once. you know, like i always threaten to but never actually do? well i actually did. take THAT, poetry lecturer who doesn't believe in me.
Sunday
I woke up heavy as a stone; as grey as iron
Hours loomed ahead smelling like coffee and wet floor,
Looking gossamer fine with their lack of consequence,
Still, a purring black happiness sat on my chest,
Green-eyed and soft,
Completely unattached to me, and unable to spread.
Spirals of some dull feeling tessellated behind my eyes,
I couldn't wipe them away like sleep or tea stains.
Yesterday sat pungently in front of me,
Stinking and decaying like any wasted day does,
The dead potential hissing as it cooled and sending up olive fumes.
I could have gone to the sea,
Gone to the fields or the hills,
I could have done anything, or maybe something.
Now my head feels like an empty teacup,
And the cat's pissed on the stairs again,
And home is so very, velvety quiet.
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