a journal of annoyances

i'm sure i've written about this before (ULTIMATE IRONY) but i have writer's block and also my dissertation to write. have six days to write 2000 - 3500 words (depending on how much i decide i'm going to try and reach the max word count) and absolutely no ideas. not one. my head is a balloon with a face drawn on it. it is full of air and a bit of spit. i am fed the fuck up. i currently look like this:

in the past five days when i've attempting to write i've written a few pages of very questionable quality, perfected putting on my eyeliner, watched half a season of csi, made bolognese, cleared out my wardrobe, trimmed my hair, watched an entire two series of game of thrones, slept in until midday every day and been furious the majority of my waking hours. i'm also pretty sure i'm developing a rash from stress, or maybe it's because i've trimmed my hair and i'm sitting in a pile of hair and it's gotten into my tights. you never know. also i've got spots on my chest because i'm stressed. also i have a constant stomach ache because i'm stressed. basically i'm a black hole of stress and i'm about to collapse inwards on myself like a dying star. my dad is hoovering loudly on the landing outside my room and banging loudly on the door with the hoover, possibly to get crumbs out of the door jamb (?) but most likely just to irritate me. he's now gotten something stuck in the hoover and it sounds like a dog dying of heatstroke in a car. i am at the limit. if i don't come up with a good idea soon i'm going to explode. i cleverly thought 'aha! i'll write a plot outline, that way i'll know what to write and it'll be structured! why have i never done this before?! this is great!' and then realised i've never done it before because when i write it is completely unplanned until i get a great idea. apparently telling myself i have to write a specific thing has accessed the belligerence cortex in my brain and i am completely stumped. it is just not happening at all. i keep hoping a great idea will pop into my head like it usually does but NOTHING. writer's block is just proper shit.