since i was little, i've always thought my mum was pretty much the coolest person i know. odd, but true. she's the one who introduced me to pixies, the smiths, donnie darko and many things that i really like now. i've just been thinking about it, and i remember my past little fixation with jackie kennedy onassis. mainly, her career as first lady and also her relation to the 'grey gardens' documentary. edith beale
the first time i saw 'grey gardens' it genuinely freaked me out. the women in it are unhinged, living in squalor, and completely in a world of their own. it just made me wonder who was sick enough to turn them into a documentary because it was exploitative. but after years of thinking about it, it's now more like art really. it's completely immersive, and a bit shocking, but incredibly cerebral. you don't just watch it, you genuinely get involved in this bizarre little world. i recommend having a look at it, it's pretty moving.
Thursday, 28 October 2010
Monday, 18 October 2010
just when
i thought i had my weird blogger obsession reigned in, i become fixated on reading karley sciortinos blog all the way through. check it out at www.slutever.org
it's the business.
it's the business.
Friday, 15 October 2010
what fresh hell
http://www.asos.com/Asos/Asos-Premium-Aqua-Feather-Cape/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1005658&cid=1929&sh=0&pge=1&pgesize=20&sort=-1&clr=Blue
i really don't understand this, but then again i don't have a dying urge to fly into the sun.
it's been days 2, 3, 4, and 5 for project vegan and man alive am i having porn dreams about cheese. seriously, it's like m&s adverts for food in my head all the time. tofu and soy just doesn't cut it. lentils are groovy and all, but they could use some bacon. the novelty of it all has worn off, now i just miss milk a LOT.
i really don't understand this, but then again i don't have a dying urge to fly into the sun.
it's been days 2, 3, 4, and 5 for project vegan and man alive am i having porn dreams about cheese. seriously, it's like m&s adverts for food in my head all the time. tofu and soy just doesn't cut it. lentils are groovy and all, but they could use some bacon. the novelty of it all has worn off, now i just miss milk a LOT.
Monday, 11 October 2010
day one
ok i said at some point i would do a week of veganism. me being me, i said this with little commitment; but today, i commenced. i decided to intrepidly go where few non-hipsters have gone before and be
A VEGAN
and so i am embarking on a possible week of misery or self-discovery, and will strive to finally answer the age-old question: what the fuck do vegans eat?
can i do it? can i actually do it? only soy-time will tell. i will remind you that this means: no meat, no cheese, no milk and no eggs. this will be difficult seeing as these are pretty much all of my favourite foods.
so this morning i had fruit juice and some dry toast. blergh. i did no preparation whatsover so i went in blind. by lunch time i was starving beyond belief, so scoured the city centre for an animal friendly lunch. i made a veritable feast of a plain baked potato and salad with vinegar, and a veggie samosa. such was my commitment that i ate the whole meal, even the potato, with my bare hands. i only did that because i forgot to get a fork, but whatever. my friends were impressed by my dedication on campus, and both pitied and laughed at me. i went and bought soy milk (gross) soy butter (yum) and soy yoghurt (yum) after work, having formed a massive headache in a seminar. i think it's meat withdrawal, but i don't know for sure. i got home and made cous cous with quorn sausages and fried peppers with courgette fritters. v. good surprisingly. after a slightly rough start, project vegan is going well. i'm hoping to start radiating organic animal product free beauty after a few days, but i accept that this probably isn't a thing.
here endeth day one.
(n.b. does anyone know if vegans eat honey? i mean, i know no animal by-products, but bees aren't animals? is shunning honey only for super-vegans? i don't know. i don't really care either, because i'm going to eat honey. call me a cheater if you like, but don't forget to fuck yourself first!)
(n.n.b i just looked it up: vegans don't eat honey. shit. no honey for me for the rest of the week. sorry about the fucking yourselves thing)
A VEGAN
and so i am embarking on a possible week of misery or self-discovery, and will strive to finally answer the age-old question: what the fuck do vegans eat?
can i do it? can i actually do it? only soy-time will tell. i will remind you that this means: no meat, no cheese, no milk and no eggs. this will be difficult seeing as these are pretty much all of my favourite foods.
so this morning i had fruit juice and some dry toast. blergh. i did no preparation whatsover so i went in blind. by lunch time i was starving beyond belief, so scoured the city centre for an animal friendly lunch. i made a veritable feast of a plain baked potato and salad with vinegar, and a veggie samosa. such was my commitment that i ate the whole meal, even the potato, with my bare hands. i only did that because i forgot to get a fork, but whatever. my friends were impressed by my dedication on campus, and both pitied and laughed at me. i went and bought soy milk (gross) soy butter (yum) and soy yoghurt (yum) after work, having formed a massive headache in a seminar. i think it's meat withdrawal, but i don't know for sure. i got home and made cous cous with quorn sausages and fried peppers with courgette fritters. v. good surprisingly. after a slightly rough start, project vegan is going well. i'm hoping to start radiating organic animal product free beauty after a few days, but i accept that this probably isn't a thing.
here endeth day one.
(n.b. does anyone know if vegans eat honey? i mean, i know no animal by-products, but bees aren't animals? is shunning honey only for super-vegans? i don't know. i don't really care either, because i'm going to eat honey. call me a cheater if you like, but don't forget to fuck yourself first!)
(n.n.b i just looked it up: vegans don't eat honey. shit. no honey for me for the rest of the week. sorry about the fucking yourselves thing)
Friday, 8 October 2010
six things i have learnt
1. just because you're at university doesn't mean you're clever. i spent 50 minutes today listening to a lecturer explain an annotated bibliography. apparently, the bibliography was just that damn difficult. according to the government, arts degrees are getting their funds cut soon by two thirds. i'm already on a course though, so nah nah nah-nah nah. take that, less privileged youths!
2.
katy perry - california gurls is a terrible terrible song.
i hate this song not only because of everything about it, but the context it has spawned. my facebook is now flooded with groups like 'california gurls have nothing on geordie lasses' and so on. and the part where katy perry lactates is quite frankly disgusting. her cleavage on sesame street was hilarious though (and eye-popping), i can just imagine the reactions in my head:
'hey sport! you wanna watch some sesame street? hey, i know! how about we learn about dress-up with elmo and katy perry?'
'daaaaaaad, we've watched this episode like 100 times, can't we watch a different one?'
'no.'
3. jamie lee curtis taete is my new favourite person. i've been obsessively reading his articles on viceland all afternoon, and i think i'm in sarcastic love.
http://www.viceland.com/fashion/2010/02/london-fashion-week-jamie-taete-doesnt-know-shit-about-fashion/
4. there are ways to knit a dog
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2010/oct/05/knitting-craft
if only i had the drive or patience to do this. the little sheepdog makes me go all gooey.
5. i'm taking up veganism for a week, starting monday. i've been researching reasons to take up veganism, other than boredom and whimsy, and the only one i can find is a buddhist theory that 'when you eat death, you emit death'. it sounds deep, but i read it in russell brand's book, which kind of cheapens the buddha aspect of it all. either way, i'm going to do it, and then have a meat bacchanalia the following week.
6. i found a song that literally made me weep in hysterical laughter. like genuine brought-to-your-knees, howling-on-the-floor, painful, nearly-peeing laughter. don't ask me why, because it's not even that funny. i lay curled up like a foetus for about five minutes afterwards in a state of bliss i have never reached on most drugs. i still laugh now when i hear it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1hVdpm4j88
sample lyric: 'The man with the lisp/ Sounds so crisp'
2.
katy perry - california gurls is a terrible terrible song.
i hate this song not only because of everything about it, but the context it has spawned. my facebook is now flooded with groups like 'california gurls have nothing on geordie lasses' and so on. and the part where katy perry lactates is quite frankly disgusting. her cleavage on sesame street was hilarious though (and eye-popping), i can just imagine the reactions in my head:
'hey sport! you wanna watch some sesame street? hey, i know! how about we learn about dress-up with elmo and katy perry?'
'daaaaaaad, we've watched this episode like 100 times, can't we watch a different one?'
'no.'
3. jamie lee curtis taete is my new favourite person. i've been obsessively reading his articles on viceland all afternoon, and i think i'm in sarcastic love.
http://www.viceland.com/fashion/2010/02/london-fashion-week-jamie-taete-doesnt-know-shit-about-fashion/
4. there are ways to knit a dog
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/gallery/2010/oct/05/knitting-craft
if only i had the drive or patience to do this. the little sheepdog makes me go all gooey.
5. i'm taking up veganism for a week, starting monday. i've been researching reasons to take up veganism, other than boredom and whimsy, and the only one i can find is a buddhist theory that 'when you eat death, you emit death'. it sounds deep, but i read it in russell brand's book, which kind of cheapens the buddha aspect of it all. either way, i'm going to do it, and then have a meat bacchanalia the following week.
6. i found a song that literally made me weep in hysterical laughter. like genuine brought-to-your-knees, howling-on-the-floor, painful, nearly-peeing laughter. don't ask me why, because it's not even that funny. i lay curled up like a foetus for about five minutes afterwards in a state of bliss i have never reached on most drugs. i still laugh now when i hear it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1hVdpm4j88
sample lyric: 'The man with the lisp/ Sounds so crisp'
Saturday, 18 September 2010
when i was bored
'so i thought i had gotten the job, when actually, i hadn't, even though i had completely been given the impression that i had...'
her oil-slick black polished nails are melting and dripping off in globs. it bothers me terribly that they're falling onto the carpet.
'...gave me a ring back four days later. can you believe it? four days. so i told him...'
even though i remember her face in some hazy distant reality as being quite round and buttery, wherever i am now is focusing a lense on her, darkening the shadows around her, spotlighting her. she looks feline, pronounced waxy bones in her face leading to creeping blackness. it's possible that she looks better to me now than she usually does, but i wouldn't expect myself to know.
'...professional opinion, it's appalling. leaving something that long. they're a business for goodness' sakes, how do they expect...'
if i had the presence of mind to be bored, i would be.
'...because i've got another interview lined up you see, it's more me, more what i want to be doing, because i've got to focus on me now...'
clicking fingernails type in the front of my head, and i feel like if i close my eyes i can dampen the sound with wet eyelids. alas, to no prevail, the noise clicks on. supine, i flex on the floor and feel my corpuscules, my musculature writhe and shift ever so fluidly. working how a human body is meant to and all. the angle i look from is the angle of the hunter; crouched to the ground, so much in sync with the prey. if the prey were wearing maraschino lipstick and a post-ironic bob and wouldn't stop fucking talking.
'...time of life, you know?'
no, i don't know actually. i stopped knowing at precisely the same point as i stopped caring, which was quite some time ago.
'... about me. that's what i've decided to do, decisions based on me, on my interests. you only live once and all. it's time for me to really get to...'
velcro is ripping up and down my spine as i curl onto my side, pulling my knees towards my chin and settling into a foetal position. a glass jar next to me makes no indication that it knows what is going on. i'm the same as that glass jar.
'... personal life, because it's not all about fun any more. all of this business with the economy makes me feel like i need to grow, you know?'
if you say that one more time i'll scream. the autumn creeps into my head, and colours my circuitry. synapses glow with maple syrup and fallen leaves; electrical impulses flash like stormy skies and lightning. a glass window into my head would show a park, damp, dappled and golden. pulsing hot embers on a bonfire are relocating from my head to my chest. i feel a residual warmth, and the beating pulse of a fire when i inhale. if only i looked a fifth as magnificent as i felt. warm cherry skins peel themselves from my gooey heart as the vodka i've just been fed sears its way down.
'... happy? i'm pouring it down your stupid neck for you, just like you want because that's all you want isn't it, booze, booze, booze. you're so fucking predictable and boring, how do you live? all you ever do...'
my mind generously disconnects after this, sending me into a reverie that is both soothing and deadening. it's a terrible business, the twenty first century, but it's the business i'm in. i blame the gameshows, the double entendres, the childcare, the posters, the saturated fats, the literature, the elitisim, the politics, the icecaps and the fucking rainforest for the state that i'm in. if the world wasn't such a dreadful place maybe i wouldn't have to be so dreadful in it.
i don't know whose perspective this is written from, i find it easiest just to write esoterically. don't judge me.
her oil-slick black polished nails are melting and dripping off in globs. it bothers me terribly that they're falling onto the carpet.
'...gave me a ring back four days later. can you believe it? four days. so i told him...'
even though i remember her face in some hazy distant reality as being quite round and buttery, wherever i am now is focusing a lense on her, darkening the shadows around her, spotlighting her. she looks feline, pronounced waxy bones in her face leading to creeping blackness. it's possible that she looks better to me now than she usually does, but i wouldn't expect myself to know.
'...professional opinion, it's appalling. leaving something that long. they're a business for goodness' sakes, how do they expect...'
if i had the presence of mind to be bored, i would be.
'...because i've got another interview lined up you see, it's more me, more what i want to be doing, because i've got to focus on me now...'
clicking fingernails type in the front of my head, and i feel like if i close my eyes i can dampen the sound with wet eyelids. alas, to no prevail, the noise clicks on. supine, i flex on the floor and feel my corpuscules, my musculature writhe and shift ever so fluidly. working how a human body is meant to and all. the angle i look from is the angle of the hunter; crouched to the ground, so much in sync with the prey. if the prey were wearing maraschino lipstick and a post-ironic bob and wouldn't stop fucking talking.
'...time of life, you know?'
no, i don't know actually. i stopped knowing at precisely the same point as i stopped caring, which was quite some time ago.
'... about me. that's what i've decided to do, decisions based on me, on my interests. you only live once and all. it's time for me to really get to...'
velcro is ripping up and down my spine as i curl onto my side, pulling my knees towards my chin and settling into a foetal position. a glass jar next to me makes no indication that it knows what is going on. i'm the same as that glass jar.
'... personal life, because it's not all about fun any more. all of this business with the economy makes me feel like i need to grow, you know?'
if you say that one more time i'll scream. the autumn creeps into my head, and colours my circuitry. synapses glow with maple syrup and fallen leaves; electrical impulses flash like stormy skies and lightning. a glass window into my head would show a park, damp, dappled and golden. pulsing hot embers on a bonfire are relocating from my head to my chest. i feel a residual warmth, and the beating pulse of a fire when i inhale. if only i looked a fifth as magnificent as i felt. warm cherry skins peel themselves from my gooey heart as the vodka i've just been fed sears its way down.
'... happy? i'm pouring it down your stupid neck for you, just like you want because that's all you want isn't it, booze, booze, booze. you're so fucking predictable and boring, how do you live? all you ever do...'
my mind generously disconnects after this, sending me into a reverie that is both soothing and deadening. it's a terrible business, the twenty first century, but it's the business i'm in. i blame the gameshows, the double entendres, the childcare, the posters, the saturated fats, the literature, the elitisim, the politics, the icecaps and the fucking rainforest for the state that i'm in. if the world wasn't such a dreadful place maybe i wouldn't have to be so dreadful in it.
i don't know whose perspective this is written from, i find it easiest just to write esoterically. don't judge me.
Thursday, 9 September 2010
i have
decided that i love florence and the machine. not florence herself, or even really the band actually, i just really like the songs. the video for dogs days are over actually makes me very angry, but saying that, what doesn't. i especially love blinding, that is such a good song. the bit about 'no more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden' really makes me shivery.
i can't really think of things to say so i am trying to create a kind of vacuum until i next say something good.
i start uni on the 27th. exciting no? i just did a stock count at work and thought i was going to die. my kitten shat on my boyfriend's floor about five times in a row. i started a game of vice city with my friend jen. i once again shirked going kick-boxing. i clipped my toe nails. voila! news update to the max.
( i am really sorry for the low calibre class of this post. i may or may not be tanked on vodka and tropical juice.)
i can't really think of things to say so i am trying to create a kind of vacuum until i next say something good.
i start uni on the 27th. exciting no? i just did a stock count at work and thought i was going to die. my kitten shat on my boyfriend's floor about five times in a row. i started a game of vice city with my friend jen. i once again shirked going kick-boxing. i clipped my toe nails. voila! news update to the max.
( i am really sorry for the low calibre class of this post. i may or may not be tanked on vodka and tropical juice.)
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