JOURNALISM

i decided a little while ago that my life just wasn't pathetic enough after exhausting drinking alone and crying to the fray, so i joined a dating website. okcupid to be precise. it has taught me many important lessons like that people are terrible and it has boosted my self confidence because people have stopped messaging me entirely despite my profile saying that i drink alone and that i cry to the fray and that my favourite activities are 'THIS IS DUMB. le sigh'. this is what you get in return for true honesty.


this is my personality according to okcupid. i don't know whether to be flattered or not (i'm not).i mean i may be political and 'indie' but my predominant quality is that i'm sloppy. in what sense i don't even know but it doesn't sound very attractive. and also i'm 'passion driven' which i'm assuming is okcupid's way of saying i'm a boning machine. but a compassionate one so fine.
having completed about six hundred stupid questions because i was bored i began to receive messages from people who were for some reason attracted to my profile and here are some of those delightful interactions with my fellow humans (click on them to read further):




as you can see i am quite the catch. i received an email saying i was one of the 'sexiest people on okcupid' which although is quite clearly a ruse to make me pay for a membership i couldn't help feeling a glow of pride: i am one of the most attractive freaks on a website for single losers. YEAH.
i no longer have any desire to live.