AHHHH

i would really like to get a proper nights sleep tonight, for the past week i've been lying awake listening to cars and staring at the ceiling. i am traditionally terrible for self-control, and i don't really like going to sleep. it is peculiar, yes, but i don't like it at all.

urgh urgh urgh i left satsumas on the floor and bugs started living in them. urgh. i made my boyfriend get rid of them, because obviously since it was my fault someone else had to fix it for me. i am just that sort of person. he is nice though, and shouted at me while he got rid of the buggies. ever since though, i keep checking that there aren't bugs in my clothes/ food/ underwear/ curtains/ books/ shower etc. i have always secretly admitted that i was more neurotic than your average human, but now it is quite glaringly obvious there's something a bit wrong there.

but anyway. the picture is of kim deal, lead singer/ guitarist of the breeders, vocalist/ bassist of pixies, and all round kick ass lady. pixies and the breeders are things my mum and i share musically, which is nice. kim deal is seriously bad ass: she turned up for an audition with pixies to play bass, having never picked up a bass in her life, and has been to rehab for alcohol and weed while her twin sister kelley has been to rehab for heroin and opiates. she's a big inspiration for my writing, her lyrics are written in a style i think i understand, and when i listen to them i just think yes, i get this. considering most of them make pretty much no sense, that's an achievement on her part. i like to think she's the patron saint of teenage girls listening to music in their bedrooms and not worrying about if they're fat, or ugly, or if a boy likes them, just caught up in 'fuck yeah' and feeling like they're in charge. call me a riot grrrl because i don't often shave my armpits or whatever, but i like not having to prescribe to this unrealistic hyper-sexualised way girls should look. i like feeling comfortable with who i am, and i think kim deal is one of my big inspirations for that. she's a goddess. honestly, give her a go so she can make you feel awesome too.