it's that time again

things that annoy me vol. 278722

+ people who have to mention things. they can't just say they're sitting around listening to music, they have to mention which music and you can completely tell they think they're awesome. or they've just watched tv, and they have to mention that it's some hipster indie tv show. as if anybody has actually asked them. they are just looking for recognition and cool points. sick. whatever, i can't stop people doing it, but i can request that when you're listening to the smiths and cutting yourself for attention try not to post any pictures on the internet while you're doing it. -note- i fully realise that i mention bands i like now though, so i guess i'm just as much of a tosser as everyone else.

+ when people think i am bitter and cynical for comical effect, or to have an image. i don't. i am not always angry, sometimes i'm pretty nice. i just resent people being very concerned with how they come across to other people. you can always tell when people are acting like they're on fucking tv when they're talking to you. or telling you stupid show-offy things. i like people who are largely unfussed by what they look like, or how they're coming across, it's nice.

+ people using books to be cool is especially awful. books are sacred and should never, ever be used for evil. referencing books to be cool is tantamount to child murder. i'm sorry. books aren't cool. they just aren't. carrying around a vintage copy of oscar wilde automatically lets me know that you're not actually a reader, you're wrongly convinced that reading is cool. a girl in my sixth form used to try and talk to me about old books because she said i was 'one of the only people who really liked english literature'. to which i said WOAH WOAH WOAH do not lump me in your elitist club ( and subsequently made her cry, my bad). i read books yes, but for fun, not to get cool points. that is not right and there should be a RSPCA equivalent to fight against it. she didn't understand. quoting passages of the great gatsby is nice, if you mean it, but i must re-iterate... if you actually like to read. i mean, i like all sorts of books, not just vaguely respectable ones. i like trashy awful books you get free with sunday papers, i like books written for dramatic teenage girls and horny teenage boys, but i just like to read. if i'm in the bath i will just read bottles for something to do. it's a nice way to occupy yourself, and i can't occupy myself very well, so reading is perfect for me because it's immersive and satisfying.

+ rah girls hair. rah girls are obviously an english thing, and i'm not even sure which bits of england they're indigenous to. but rah girls are terribly english girls who go to university in ugg boots, pyjama bottoms, sports gilets and backcombed chinese widow buns falling off their heads. the way they talk sounds like RAH RAH RAH RAH, explaining the name. (for further reference http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rah) but either way, of all the things i hate about them (there are many) their hair is near the top of the list. you can tell it's long, well-conditioned, regularly cut and highlighted perfect celebrity type hair, so why do they insist on combing it backwards until it's ginormous and tangly, and then turning it into huge birds nests on their heads? i think they think it gives them an air of 'i don't give a fuck' and makes them rock chicks or whatever, but it doesn't. it's a flashing beacon to anyone who isn't a rah that they are idiots.

+ the fact that everything has a sequel. can't some films be allowed to go to the grave having only been a singular release? ghostbusters 3 for fucks sakes. what is that.

+ the human centipede. URRGH URGH URGH. ever since i heard about that, i have genuinely not felt right. i've had nightmares, it pops into my head randomly and then i tear up and have to stare at the wall, it stops me eating malt loaf. that's how associative my memory is, i can't eat malt load anymore because of that film. it's absolutely rank, and horror films don't usually gross me out, but literally this even puts me off food, and nothing puts me off food. i once ate custard while someone vomited next to me with absolutely no qualms. so well done in a way, since i haven't even seen the fucker and it's ruined my appetite.

+ how quickly hair dye fades. half my hair is still pink, and the roots are kid of pale ginger-pink, it looks weird! not that it bothers me enough to do anything about it, i just occasionally catch sight of myself in a mirror and think 'hm'.

+ the current weird weather in newcastle. it's kind of like the frequent stormy periods in my parents house; you don't know what's happening, why, or when it's going to can it. suddenly boiling hot, then cloudy, then raining? make your mind up sky, because i can't do it for you.

+ people like me who complain a lot. not in a self-loathing way, i just assume it's really boring for everyone else.




things i like vol. 1

+ zero punctuation. it's hilarious.

+ food in bed. it's delicious. and warm.

+ my jumper

+ posting cruel questions on peoples formsprings. serves them right for having formspring, what a retarded idea. i had one for like a week, thinking this'll be fun! then i realised how insanely vain it made me, and i felt like a douche and deleted it. i see the appeal admittedly, but i also have self-esteem. you can see the dilemma.

+ strawberry yoghurt in the bath. not in the bath itself, me eating strawberry yoghurt when i'm in the bath. mmmm.

+ jemina pearl. you beaut.




this has been very satisfying. strawberry yoghurt in the bath time!