ohhhhhhhhhh

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN


things that annoy me vol. 98749874

+ sex and the city. it's so mind-numbingly boring. being a member of its target audience, i have to say, target MISSED. do i really want to watch pretendy women wearing ridiculous clothes, screwing half their hometown and talking about it over ridiculous drinks? no! sex and the city, a tale of 'female empowerment and sexual liberation' (snigger) is written by a man. how can that be right? the main one, the one that looks like a demon horse, is apparently always doing articles about sex in new york, but it's actually by a man. really lends a real natural feel to it i think. sex and the city can gargle cat piss because it's atrocious. it's like grown-up twilight.

+ really heavy geordie accents. i've lived in newcastle for about 98% of my life and i can't make heads or arses of them. i constantly embarass myself with the pub regulars where i work by looking at them like i'm deaf and insane while they say the same thing over and over. i go red (i can feel it on the tips of my ears) and say something awkward and go about getting them the wrong drink. i loathe this. it only sounds horribly upper-middle class of me because it is. i'm just being a tool.

+ justin bieber. wow i really have hit some cultural hotspots recently eh? justin beiber, twilight, sex and the city... it's obviously easy to say you hate all of these things, but sometimes it just feels good to affirm it. like a power chant or something. well i do hate justin bieber. he's like a tiny evil brunette ellen degeneres and i don't like his stupid music. 'and i was like baby, baby, baby oooohh, i was like baby, baby, baby nooooo' what is that. no.

+ the fact that i never use this blog for writing the way i mean to, because i started it to try and do fiction but i haven't done it since last year. i have a good idea brewing though, you'll see. it's a doozy too, so watch this space! not this one exactly, obviously, what are you, daft?

+ metro/ bus fares. they are exorbitantly high. i spend about £3.5o every time i want to get somewhere, and frankly, i'm not quite ready to start cycling everywhere. it gives me the mad red face and i get this awful sweaty bit on my back.. but i digress. either way, bus fares need to go down. i'm sure petrol prices are awful and everything, but jeez.

+ waterstones now quite literally has a ... wait for it..




are you ready? i don't think you are...


DARK ROMANCE section.


i know.
what the everloving hell is that supposed to mean? it should be called the cashcow section.

+ people who criticise jemina pearl's solo album for being pop. it really annoys me that when an artist releases an album it isn't seen as an experiment, a single album any more. it becomes their whole image and everyone assumes that's who they are. jemina pearl can't release an experimental fun album after having been in a band since she was 15? that must have been pretty intense and i say that break it up is a great record, it's catchy, clever and FUN. i know music snobbery has no room for fun because fun isn't hip or cool, but i don't see why jemina pearl has to have her whole image re-evaluated just because she released a different type of album than she has done before. so she's done a poppy record and that means she can't ever do anything else ever again. fuck that. i say, if thurston moore and iggy pop will touch it, it's really more than good enough for me. i also say, for people who are supposed to be open-minded, critics just don't have a clue sometimes.

+ stupid pretentious people who wear pretendy glasses. you know, plastic frames with plastic lenses? at least try and stare into the sun for a few hours to damage your eyes enough so that you need the huge nana frames. commit a bit harder to being hipsters.

+ knowing that i need to be up early, and thus not being able to sleep because i know i'll be up early. thus spending three hours playing games until the early morning, getting four hours sleep and then complaining all day that i'm tired. i was pretty sure that if i kept doing it, nature would kick in some kind of biological imperative to make me tired earlier, but evidently not.

+ the huge amount of websites there are. i think there's too many.

+ what does NOT annoy me however is this video: http://vimeo.com/11712103
because sloths are adorable and cannot annoy me. even when they chew with their mouths open, and usually that makes me queasy. no, i just stare into the gaping maw of gooey half-chewed potato, and i swoon.

+ not eating bread or pasta. my two favourite foods.

+ speaking of food, i'm hungry.

i feel slightly bad about complaining so much, but henry rollins said 'nothing brings people together more than a mutual hatred' so i like to think i'm bringing people closer together.

things that don't annoy me vol. 2

+ looking at the end of my bed and having a shelf and a dresser there covered in my books, cd's and assorted things. it just cheers me up.

+ the fact that i don't have work tomorrow. yessssss.

+ the fact that i am actually going to start writing again soon. yippee!

+ damien rice. I SAID IT, I LIKE DAMIEN RICE. know who else i like? louis theroux. he's both informative and funny. and i like con air. feeling quite uplifted now. i might go and have some muesli, but i probably won't, because it's in the kitchen, and i am not. dilemma.