hazy days

do you ever get the feeling that your head is full of cotton wool? i do. 'spacey' is the kind way people usually describe my tendencies to gaze glassy-eyed at walls and then sniff, blink and say 'sorry, what?' but in actual fact i am fairly sure i am in contact with worlds beyond our own...
haha, got you.
no, i just don't pay attention most of the time. but maybe it's the copious quantities of snow in newcastle settling on my brain and fuzzing me out more than usual. it's so snowy here, and yes i know, english people think that an inch of snow is terrifying, but we're talking serious serious up to the knees blizzards. this never, ever happens, so i am completely flabberghasted about snow couture. i've been wearing primark wellies, a tatty old fur coat and a giant wooden handled old lady umbrella so i look like rupert the bear sporting a neon pink coiffure. i'm sure it's sexy. i have no idea how to face snow though. just walking to university is like a freezing wet assault course. i half expect a drill sergeant to start pushing me over and screaming IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO? because what with not being the most gifted with co-ordination, i have been falling over more than is my usual precedent. no, i've opted for indoor relaxation; brideshead revisited, blankets, velour tracksuit (guilty pleasure), and earl grey tea. the only reason i'd leave the house is for some kind of serious reason, which there isn't as of yet, so hurrah!

THINGS I HATE MOST ABOUT THE SNOW

1. slush. snow is very pretty when you're inside and warm and it's picturesque, but the problem is that snow has to be walked on. and when snow is walked on, it turns into grey freezing slippery goo. which is neither picturesque nor practical. then people throw salt in it, as if that does anything other than make it slippery and gritty. i saw a woman throwing saxo on her doorstep this morning and i just wanted to scream IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK at her.

2. snowballs. i have always deeply, deeply loathed snowballs. the idea that at any second a wet icy thing could hit me makes me walk like a suspicious vulture. combine the vulture hunching with my robust high knee strides, and you've got one stupid looking person. all the children in jesmond seem to smell my fear, like cruel dogs in school uniform, and they instantly pelt me. i haven't cried yet, just turned around and tried to look stern, but i'm sure they'll crack me soon.

3. having to wear lots of layers. not that i am exactly having to forsake daisy dukes and crop tops, but wearing a tee-shirt, shirt, jumper, hoody and coat is excessive even for me. it looks like i've gained about four stone every time i get dressed.

4. how cold my house is. i rent an attic in a student area, so naturally the walls are made of paper and spit. the windows are plastic. it is so cold in here that i have to sleep in my dressing gown. in fact, i have a special system of sleeping just so that i don't get hypothermia during the night and die. i put on tights and a tee-shirt, then pyjamas, then dressing gown. then i make a pouch of blanket for my feet, and another blanket is worn on the head like a turban, then i get in and shiver my way to sleep. it's horrific.

5. the fact that getting up is even harder. as if i didn't already have long discussions with myself in the mornings about whether i should bother getting up or not, i have to genuinely force myself to leave the house at all. i've hardly been to uni this week, but i've gone to work because i need the money so i can buy blankets and cocoa.

6. having showers is now horrible. the idea of actually being naked makes me shudder now, because i am too cold to do it. getting in the shower is enough of a gamble anyway, what with the delightful tendency it has to boil/freeze you, but now it's impossible. i probably smell, but i don't care, i can't smell myself so it's not my problem.

i think i've vented most of my snow-based rage. that and my heater is cheering me up with warms.