dear l'oreal

whilst using your product to dye my hair with, i noticed something that perturbed me slightly. the conditioner supplied with the hair claimed to make my hair 'cashmere soft'. that was a nice idea. i like cashmere (i think) the words that come to my mind when i think of cashmere are soft and high class. however. i researched cashmere on the internet, because i wasn't sure what it came from. and it turns out.. well, the words that NOW come to mind are soft, high class, and GOAT. oh yes, i know the truth. cashmere wool comes from cashmere goats.
thank you so so much, l'oreal, for making my hair soft like a goat. that sounds like something borat would say. i'm very unimpressed. i put my hair in your hands, and now, not only is it not very red at all, it's also goat-like.
yours,
a severely disappointed customer.

p.s. EIGHT POUNDS. EIGHT FUCKING POUNDS. WHAT, IS IT MADE OUT OF GOLD AND RUBIES OR SOMETHING?

AHAAAAAAA

A MAN JUST KARATE CHOPPED A PLANK OUTISDE MY WINDOW AHAHAAHA

it's been

a whirlwind in my life.
i joined the gym, and have only been once. well done me. i'm going in about an hour though, so mer. i've spent all weekend in a tent with my boyfriend. which was ace, since the tent was in his living room with a tv right in front of it.

my dad got a juicer, so i've been secretly juicing things while he's at work. he hid the instructions so that i couldn't use it, but all that's done is make me more determined to use it, and also more likely to break it trying. i've discovered that i have a natural aptitude for it. i made a strawberry one, and my mum said it was the best smoothie she's ever had. i know that's probably parent hyperbole, but it was still nice of her. but if anyone ever offers you a ham and cheese smoothie? tell them: no dice.




here is a photo of me being excited about my life.








i am also applying for jobseekers allowance, known to our transcontinental friends as being a shiftless failure. so well done me on that point. i need the damn money and i can't find a fucking job! at least i have a mother to tell me that the smoothies i make are delicious.

well

it's taken two hours, and with the help of sonic youth's 'goo', two j-cloths, bleach and some old joggers, i've scoured the bathroom and also tidied my room. feel pretty good, if not scruffy because i have a pretty good birds nest do and also i stink. sexy.

i had forgotten how much i like watching buffy the vampire slayer, and now i am pretty glad i remember how awesome it is. i was scared to watch it again in case i was remembering it better because i was younger, but it turned out that it's still awesome. i'm glad because there's seven seasons so it'll take me ages to re-watch it. that's time better spent than finding a job.
HEY I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TO WRITE

'sometimes it seems that these small deviations from routine are the only things that keep us avoiding death. when i wake up i am paralyzed: living, breathing, lying on my bed and existing so loudly. wondering how? every day, every minute, how i have cheated death just by being alive?'
i thought of it in a taxi the other day when going a different route to a friends house, and realising that the different route cheered me up. right, now i really really have to go and shower because i am absolutely rancid.

raaaaaaa

i've adopted a new scarf, stolen from my mum, which i like to think makes me look like rupert the bear. it smells like wet barbecues and dogs, so naturally i love it. i'd also like to note that i don't like the casino brawl, the sticker was stolen from someone, and is there as a trophy, not because i like them. i haven't even heard them. are they good? i'm going to check.

i don't think they will be.

ANYWAY

before my awesome scarf, what was i going to say?

oh yeah, i read 'the virgin suicides' by jeffrey eugenides, and it was really good. like really really good. even though i felt a sense of general malaise after reading it, i still liked it. i think it's going to be a fairly important book to me. next up - middlesex by same author, and atlas shrugged by ayn rand.

minor annoyance - the runaways has no release date for the uk. this is a bit of a gutter since i've been looking forwards to complaining about kristen stewart ruining joan jett's good name. i assumed since it's had a lot of publicity it would be out over here, but that would be too easy. now i'll have to wait and wait and read everyone elses reviews while i wait.

can't wait - growing and trimming and not dyeing my hair so that eventually i can bleach it and be blaaaawnd again. it's pretty good at the moment, a relatively natural colour, and also of human hair consistency which it usually isn't. the roots look a bit dirty though, the colour it is is warmer than my natural mouse brown, so the roots look especially lank and greasy.. sexy times.

oh and i have a leeds ticket! that's right, i'm finally repealing my opinion on leeds fest and the bad name i've given it, and i'm scooting on down, because motherfucking HOLE ARE PLAYING. HOLE. HOLE. HOLE HOLE FUCKING HOLE. i'm so super psyched. courtney love in the flesh. i might make a sign, but that would be a bit sad. i'm definitely making a little leeds fur costume though, like the one i wore at the worlds end gallery. so that'll be nice. i had to be convinced to go though, since i hate camping, crowds, and most people. but either way, i'll be there.

currently listening to - cat power and the breeders and annie. good mix.

i'm going to go and buy cheap things off amazon yet again, so good times. might update writing a little bit later, feeling like i might have some good ideas.

ask me most things!

www.formspring.me/tangerinewolf

kfjhdsm

here are some things i have realised, primarily certain phrases that really mean other things:

'are you alright?' - 'i know you're not alright, clearly something is wrong, and i want to know what it is on an interest level, not because i want to help'

'i need some space' - 'there is a space you usually occupy near me, and i would like that space to be empty now because i do not want you to be near me'

'how are you?' - 'i want to talk about myself, and what with the tennis-like back and forth quality of most conversation, by asking you to talk about yourself i will then logically have to reciprocate with talking about myself'

'is there anything i can do?' - 'i feel bad that you feeling bad is putting a dampener on things so i'll offer to do something superficial for you that will help me feel better, but not necessarily you'

'i'll call you later' - 'i will not call you later'


my head is actually so sore right now that i am angry about it being sore so that makes it sorer and me angrier so on so forth ow ow ow ow owwwwwwww